Anxiety is part of being human. It’s a natural response to stress or perceived threat—but for many, it becomes a persistent hum in the background of daily life, eroding confidence, clarity, and joy. While anxiety can feel overwhelming, the good news is this: there are practical, evidence-based ways to calm the nervous system and reclaim a sense of inner safety.

Drawing on the work of thought leaders like Martha Beck and Deb Dana, alongside contemporary neuroscience and psychology, let’s explore how we can understand anxiety—and more importantly, beat it.

Understanding the Root of Anxiety

At its core, anxiety is the nervous system’s alarm bell. It’s your body saying, “I don’t feel safe.” But here’s the key: our internal perception of threat doesn’t always match our external reality. This is where healing begins—by gently teaching the body that it’s safe.

Polyvagal Theory, developed by Dr Stephen Porges and popularised by therapist Deb Dana, provides a powerful lens. It explains how the vagus nerve, which runs from brainstem to belly, plays a central role in how we experience stress, connection, and calm.

“When we feel safe, our biology supports health, growth, and restoration.” – Deb Dana

According to Polyvagal Theory, the autonomic nervous system has three primary states:

• Ventral Vagal (Safe & Connected)
• Sympathetic (Fight or Flight)
• Dorsal Vagal (Shutdown or Freeze)

Anxiety typically stems from prolonged sympathetic activation—where the body is on high alert.

From Chaos to Clarity: The Wisdom of Martha Beck

Author and life coach Martha Beck offers a complementary perspective rooted in behavioural science and deep intuition. In her book The Way of Integrity, she argues that anxiety often arises when we live out of alignment with our inner truth—when we behave in ways that go against our deepest knowing.

“Anxiety is what happens when you try to live with a divided self.” – Martha Beck

Her approach to anxiety includes:

• Telling the truth (even quietly to yourself)
• Living with integrity—meaning alignment between what you think, feel, and do
• Noticing and naming emotional responses without judgement

This inner congruence calms the mind, reduces cognitive dissonance, and soothes the nervous system.

Evidence-Backed Tools to Calm Anxiety

Whether your anxiety is situational or chronic, the following tools are proven to regulate the nervous system and help restore emotional balance:

1. Rhythmic, Regulated Breathing

Slow, steady breathing tells the body it's safe. Studies have shown that diaphragmatic breathing lowers cortisol and heart rate. One simple method is the 4-7-8 technique, which activates the parasympathetic nervous system: inhale for 4, hold for 7, exhale for 8.

2. Vagal Toning Exercises

Stimulating the vagus nerve through simple physical actions like humming, chanting, gargling, or cold water exposure can improve vagal tone—key to reducing anxiety and improving resilience.

3. Co-Regulation and Safe Connection

As Deb Dana states, “Regulation is a shared experience before it becomes an individual capacity.” Spending time with calm, supportive people helps soothe your nervous system via co-regulation. Connection is not a luxury—it’s biological medicine.

4. Body-Based Practices (Somatic Therapy)

According to trauma expert Dr Bessel van der Kolk, author of The Body Keeps the Score, the body plays a critical role in healing. Gentle movement, grounding techniques, and physical therapies like massage can support nervous system recovery from the bottom up.

5. Nature, Rhythm and Ritual

Martha Beck speaks of “wild peace”—the calm we find in the natural world. Research supports that time spent in nature significantly reduces anxiety and enhances mood. Simple rituals—walking, tea-making, journaling—offer rhythm and a felt sense of safety for an anxious mind.

When to Seek Help

While lifestyle shifts and self-regulation techniques can go a long way, sometimes anxiety needs more focused support. Speaking to a therapist—particularly one trained in trauma-informed or somatic approaches—can be a transformative step towards healing.

In Summary

Anxiety is not a flaw—it’s a message. By listening to the body, reconnecting with truth, and using evidence-backed tools, we can shift out of survival mode and into a state of calm presence.

Remember:

• You are not broken.
• You are not alone.
• You are not powerless.

You have the ability to shape your inner world—and that’s where peace begins.

Photo by Marcos Paulo Prado on Unsplash