In this episode of Skin & Within, we take a deep dive into the world of sobriety and explore the transformative power of alcohol-free living with the inspiring Kirsty Mulcahy. Host Claire Gray, founder of Ermana Natural Skincare, leads an eye-opening conversation about the challenges, rewards, and personal growth that come with embracing a life without alcohol.

Breaking the Stigma of Sobriety

Kirsty opens up about her own relationship with alcohol, revealing how societal pressures often make people feel like they need to justify their decision not to drink. As she puts it, "Alcohol is the only drug that you have to have a reason for not using." This striking statement highlights the deeply ingrained culture that normalises drinking, making it hard for those who choose sobriety to navigate their decision without facing judgment or misunderstanding.

In the conversation, Kirsty shares her personal experience of realising that her relationship with alcohol wasn’t serving her well, even before she hit rock bottom. She debunks the common misconception that sobriety is only necessary for those who have experienced significant struggles with alcohol abuse. In reality, many people find themselves questioning their relationship with alcohol and recognising that they can lead a more fulfilled life without it.

The Power of Shifting Mindset

One of the most powerful takeaways from Kirsty’s journey is the importance of mindset. Initially, the idea of living without alcohol might feel daunting, but Kirsty’s transformation comes from focusing not on the sacrifices, but on the incredible positives that sobriety brings. She discusses how her life has improved in so many areas—better sleep, enhanced mental clarity, and more meaningful connections with those around her. As she puts it, "My life's the best it's ever been." This statement is a powerful reminder that sobriety can lead to a healthier, more vibrant version of yourself.

Practical Tips for Sobriety Success

Kirsty’s story isn’t just about personal growth—it’s also about the practical steps she took to support her sobriety and make lasting changes in her life. Establishing a gratitude practice was one of the first habits she introduced, helping her stay grounded and positive. She also created a safe and nurturing home environment that supported her new lifestyle. Kirsty shares how cultivating a routine of self-care and prioritising her well-being were essential in navigating the challenges of an alcohol-free life.

For anyone considering a break from alcohol, these insights are invaluable. Whether it’s creating a peaceful space, developing new rituals, or simply focusing on self-love, Kirsty’s experience shows how small, intentional changes can have a big impact on your journey to sobriety.

Why Sobriety Might Be Right for You

This episode is a must-listen for anyone curious about sobriety, whether you’re considering taking a break from alcohol or simply want to better understand what the journey entails. Kirsty’s story offers an authentic and relatable perspective on how sobriety can open the door to a more joyful, healthy life. Her enthusiasm for her new lifestyle is contagious, leaving listeners inspired to reflect on their own relationship with alcohol and consider the possibility of living alcohol-free.

Embrace a Healthier, Happier Life

Kirsty’s journey serves as a beautiful reminder that life can be just as vibrant and fulfilling without alcohol. Sobriety is not about missing out or sacrificing enjoyment—it’s about realising the incredible benefits of a clearer mind, a healthier body, and deeper connections with the world around you. Tune in to hear more about Kirsty’s inspiring transformation and learn how you, too, can embrace a healthier, happier life by choosing to live alcohol-free.

Don't forget to subscribe to Skin & Within for more enlightening conversations and insights from wellness experts.

Find out more about Kirsty and her work at Sober Buzz, Scotland.

 

TRANSCRIPT

Claire Grey talks about how ditching alcohol can transform your life

>> Claire Gray: The Big Light presents.

>> Claire Gray: Welcome to Skin and Within, where I help you find your inner glow with insights from wellness experts. I'm Claire Grey, founder of Armana Natural Skincare and passionate wellness warrior. In this series, I'm exploring how to find radiance that's not just skin deep, but leads to a healthier, happier you from the inside out. In today's episode, we're going to discuss how ditching alcohol can transform your life for the better. I've just had a fascinating conversation with Kirsty Mulcai. We talked about her journey to sobriety. This is a very frank, hard hitting conversation and not for the faint hearted. So buckle up and let's go.

>> Claire Gray: Thank you very much, Kirsty, for coming along today.

Sober Buzz explores the taboo topic of living an alcohol free life

I really appreciate it because we're going to cover today a bit of a taboo topic m and something that divides opinion and it's living an alcohol free life. Why do you think it divides opinions so much?

>> Speaker C: I think in this. Well, I know, sorry, it's just seen as part of what we do, part of our culture. I think it divides people because there's a huge element of people feeling a little bit nervous about their relationship with alcohol. There's a huge amount of shame behind people's relationships with alcohol. We tend to brass it a bit. I certainly did when I had an alcohol problem. I used to just try and pretend everything was fine. there's a famous quote that does the rounds. It says, you know, alcohol is the only drug that you have to have a reason for not using. And I think that. Let me explain the difference. When I was younger, an alcoholic would be somebody that was sitting in a shop doorway drinking that we would say, that man's an alcoholic. We rarely see alcoholic now or alcoholism. We use the term alcohol usage disorder. And under that umbrella term we can have people who are drinking, like that person in the shop doorway. We can have people who are binge drinking and they know they want to make a change, but they can't. And you can have people like me who are going to work in the morning and coming home at night and drinking. You know, sometimes I was drinking three bottles of wine a night, right. And unable to stop. I knew I wanted to make a change. So this, this controversial thing like this thing that divides opinion, sometimes people still, you know, speak to me about it and they're very pro alcohol and when I explain to them the alcohol usage disorder umbrella term, they start to understand it a little bit more because if anything's having any negative impact on your life Only makes sense to address that or look at that a bit longer. So Sober Buzz is really trying to remove that shame and that division, away from, oh my God, she must be a problem drinker to oh my goodness, she's made a hugely positive change, in her life. And that is a lot of work that we've got to do. Because I live in a very alcohol free bubble. The majority of people that I socialise with are alcohol free. And that's not because I only pick those people as friends. It's just six years down the line. That's just how my friendship group is. But every now and again I tip out that bubble and people are still really opinionated, like you said, and there's divided opinion on it and, and it's like there must be something seriously wrong with us.

>> Claire Gray: That's what people like to think, isn't it? If you're not having a drink, what is wrong with you? And did you have like a rock bottom moment as such? Do you mind talking us through, like your journey to sobriety?

>> Speaker C: Of course. So I very rarely talk about rock bottoms because there were so many. I can't remember them. And the trouble with rock bottoms is if I come on here and tell you, like all the deepest, darkest rock bottoms I've got, people then go, oh, well, I'm not as bad as her.

>> Claire Gray: Okay, right, fair point.

>> Speaker C: But the day that, the last day that I drank, you know, it was, it was probably somebody's rock bottom. You know, I woke up and my daughter had went up to her dad's. I had lost my phone. I felt like I was going to die. There was, I took a lot of drugs as well. There was drug paraphernalia lying around. I took cocaine. I couldn't remember the night. I was terrified I'd possibly cheated on my then partner. Everything just felt like it was spiralling out of control. And I'd known for 14 years that I had a, with, alcohol. But that morning in December, that sounds hellish to some people. That wasn't the worst thing that's ever happened to me. but there, you know, that day I never drank again. Now when I say that, it sounds so simple. It really wasn't. It was really, really difficult for the first year. I'm six years sober now, but particularly that first three or four months, it was a real battle and I was very, very unwell. It wasn't just like, I got up and then went to work. I had a lot of time off work at that point.

>> Claire Gray: Because you were Detoxing from the alcohol.

>> Speaker C: And it was in between Christmas and New Year, so I had to go to a crisis centre, which is still open around the corner from where I live. And that was the first time that I'd heard somebody say to me, right, okay, we'll get you help to make a change. Because what people do, when people say, I don't want to drink anymore, I'm really struggling, people say, you're not that bad, just drink less.

>> Claire Gray: You mean friends would say that?

>> Speaker C: or yeah. And even now people come to me at Sober Buzz and they'll tell me that they're saying to healthcare professionals, I can't drink anymore, I can't do this anymore. And they'll say, well, you know, you can cut down and, you know, you can just still have a drink here, there. And I find that really worrying. I mean that's very dangerous.

>> Claire Gray: Yeah. Do you know what? I can relate to that actually. But I got the flip side of that. I agree. A lot of people just, they don't want to scare you or frighten you off, so they'll say that what you're drinking is okay. I can remember going to the doctors for all these different blood tests because I wasn't feeling great and they asked me how much alcohol I drank. Obviously I halved. Of course they were the amount that I drank. and the doctor said, well, that's quite a lot, isn't it? and that's the first time anybody had said it to me. Obviously my mum had said, but for a doctor to say it or, you know, somebody that knew what they were talking about and the fact that I'd half the quantity then was, was a step towards a bit of a wake up call. So. But overall, yeah, people are, ah, so accepting.

>> Speaker C: Just drink less. And you're like, oh, fuck, I wish I'd thought of that. You know, like, you know, just have, just drink less. Or, And I would battle with myself if I go out. I'll never drink wine when I'm out.

>> Claire Gray: Okay.

>> Speaker C: I like to call wine housewives crack because it just used to drive me nuts, like wild. But then I'd go out and I'd have a few gins and I'd be like, I had this flip switch in my head and I'd be like, fuck it, I'm having fun, I'm going to have wine and then the coke and all the rest of it, okay? And then people would say to me, oh, Kirsty, just don't drink wine when you're out. Or Kirsty, don't have priest. You know, that's, really difficult to manage.

Blacking out is far more common than we know

So, yeah, to go back to what you were originally asking about my rock bottom, it wasn't the worst moment of my life, but it was the day that I realised, I think really, that I thought this could be how I die.

>> Claire Gray: Really?

>> Speaker C: Gosh, yeah.

>> Claire Gray: Because I was gonna ask you, was it the memory loss? But it was the fact you actually.

>> Speaker C: Memory loss was normal every time I drank. But that was quite a normal thing. Blacking out is far more common than we know. All my clients come to me, right, the majority of them, and they'll say, oh my God, I can't believe it. And you know, a blackout and nobody else does. And I think if I had everybody room and they all raised their hands up and said, well, I have blackouts, tends to be more women than men. And that's a hormone thing sometimes.

>> Claire Gray: Yeah, I think as well it happens later on in life more so because younger 20s and 30s, I never had blackouts.

>> Speaker C: 40S, I think that's probably why a lot. that was one of the reasons I took coke as well. Because if I took coke I could drink more and I could stay up longer. Rather than that blackout, I used to call it going into automatic pilot because people would say you were there and you were having fun. And I just was like, have no recollection of being there. And that's so dangerous. But then we laugh about that, don't we?

>> Claire Gray: M? Oh, yeah.

>> Speaker C: I was totally mad with it.

>> Claire Gray: So, yeah. So that obviously pushed you towards sobriety. But how long did it take? Did you. Was that. That was the last drink?

>> Speaker C: That was the Last drink on the 27th of December, is the last day that I've ever had a drink or any, recreational drugs, as I say. I went to the crisis centre. I did go to my doctors in the December and you know, he said to me, you could have died. Like, you know, like stopping drinking so suddenly like that. So it was really, pardon the pun, a very sobering doctor's appointment. but I think I was probably off work for about two and a half, three months.

>> Claire Gray: And were work supportive of you being off, taking time out?

>> Speaker C: Yeah, I had worked there for a long time and I, said it was for mental health in the first instance, which is true. But when I went in, I owned it. One of the most important things in my alcohol free life and for that sobriety to stick is I had to own it.

>> Claire Gray: Yeah, okay. Yeah, there's no half measures, so to speak. Yeah, Totally all or nothing.

You stopped drinking at 41 and your life has changed dramatically since then

And in what way has giving up the booze impacted your life then?

>> Speaker C: Yeah, it's just like. So when I used to lie in my bed thinking I had to stop drinking, I thought that. I truly did think that that would be it. I thought there would be no, you know, I wouldn't have any friendships, I wouldn't have a social life. My whole personality revolved around alcohol and partying and, So I thought it was going to be over. And my life's the best it's ever been, so I stopped drinking at 41. I'm coming up for 48 this year and I feel the fittest and healthiest. I'm never in, you know, I tend to go out a lot. I love music. I still. I still go raving. I'm fucking ancient. But I love techno and I still go to techno nights and festivals and I run, I swim in the sea. I've got my own business. I'm, the CEO of a community interest company. my life's night and day.

>> Claire Gray: You're living.

>> Speaker C: Yeah, totally living. And I know it's not about how we look, but when I look at pictures of me back then, I mean, I could have been this person's mother, you know, I just was tired, really overweight, like, carrying a lot of weight in my face. Had horrific, acne, rosacea. Just, wasn't eating properly. I was just existing and I'd carried myself on that. You know, the drink made me this really, like, sociable, lively person. It hadn't. It just made me an absolute liability.

>> Claire Gray: Yeah. Yep.

Why do you think most people don't want to even consider giving up alcohol

So why do you think it is that most people don't want to even consider giving up alcohol?

>> Speaker C: Because I think, well, like I said, you know, it's almost like it's. It's compulsory. And I sometimes say that when I do public speaking and I say, you know, drinking alcohol is not compulsory, and people have a wee laugh and I say, so why are you asking everybody? But you will drink at my birthday, but you'll drink at Christmas, but you'll drink on holiday. So it's constant and there's that fear of. So we maybe tell our best friends, I work with men as well as women, and women bond a lot easier through their vulnerabilities. So it's kind of different with men and women, but we might tell our best friends and say, I can't do this anymore. All right, take a break. See how you get on. but what if that woman across the road, who you didn't like, finds out that You've stopped drinking. What if your boss finds out you've stopped drinking? What if your ex partner finds out you've stopped drinking? People are going to think there's something really bad going on. whereas people would rather just pretend everything's fine when it's just falling to shit in the background. Because the fear of what other people think in this country is huge, you know? Yeah, I guess it has to mess up. And I remember when I drank, I would see things like, Claire, doesn't he drink ad and he trusts her. Like, what is her problem? And that's really common. I've had men I've worked with who've went six months sober. They've decided to go back to the football, for example. I'm, thinking something in the west coast, actually.

>> Claire Gray: Okay.

>> Speaker C: And he went back to the football and he went for. And he got an alcohol free drink and he got all the homophobic slurs aimed at him. he got asked if he'd found, you know, religion. And people say it's a bit banner. It's not if you've worked really hard for that sobriety. When you asked me about my rock bottoms, there's only, in fact, probably nobody that knows. That's up to me to know that people have battled through their demons to get to a place where they've decided to stop drinking. And then all of a sudden people are calling them all these names or not inviting them out or as I say, that fear of people will think that something really bad's going on.

>> Claire Gray: Why do you think people don't celebrate it? I mean, I can remember I gave up for five months. I mentioned earlier on I'd been for all these blood tests, was there something wrong with me? So I thought the first thing that I should do because I knew I drank too much was actually to try to cut back. But I find that difficult to cut back. I certainly did then. So I gave it up for five months completely.

>> Speaker C: So if you walked into a room and you said to someone, I've not been feeling great, the doctor's doing blood tests, I'm gonna stop drinking for a short while, we would say, that's Sinclair. You walked into a room and said, I'm gonna stop drinking. Cause my mental health's fucked. Honestly, I canny can't handle the hangovers. Or dinny be daft. Dinny be such a bore. And that happened.

>> Claire Gray: Boring. Yes, I get called boring.

>> Speaker C: So it's. And it depends. I suppose it depends what sort of circles you're moving in. But who you are in your home life tends to be kind of different. When you go into work and be somebody else and it's a thought having to tell people that this is what you're doing. if you go into a room and say, I've had a drink for three months and I am feeling amazing, insert, I've lost this much, my skin looks better, I'm running 5Ks, people will be like, it's harder for them to say, oh, go on, just have a drink. But if we go in and say, oh, I can't handle the hangovers, I'm such a fucking muppet when I drink. People, you're not that bad.

>> Claire Gray: That's right.

>> Speaker C: People just want.

>> Claire Gray: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. People then try and reassure you. But then I always wondered as well, you know, in terms of people not celebrating it or not encouraging you not to drink, is it fear that you'll be the sober one who remember how they behave when they're drunk?

>> Speaker C: I think eventually that becomes a thing.

>> Speaker C: I think eventually that is, maybe what your friends think. People worry about losing friends. And the conversation I'll have with my clients is, we shed friends throughout our life, but when we tend to know we want to make a change to our drinking, we think everything's amplified. Bad, you know, oh my God. But if you think you've not got the same friends as when you were 22 or 25 or 35, or when you were in one job or another and people leave our lives and then come back, I've got more friends now since I got sober, to be honest.

>> Claire Gray: Have you?

>> Speaker C: Yeah, getting better friendships.

>> Claire Gray: Like minded friends as well.

>> Speaker C: Yeah. And like when you stopped drinking, have you ever sat with a lot of people that are drunk? Like, it's not for me.

>> Claire Gray: No, it's not fun.

>> Speaker C: Like it's dull as fuck. Do you know what I mean?

>> Claire Gray: I did do it one night though, and actually felt drunk. I think I was buzzing off their drunkenness.

>> Speaker C: Yeah, well, I was at a wedding recently and it's the first time I've been around men drunk for a very long time and it drank. Honestly, this chat was shocking. So like, we tend not to want to be like, you know, so it's not that we're. Well, I suppose I've just judged them, but it's like that's not fun anymore, you know, so, you know, we tend not to decide we don't want to do that. So that's the other thing. People are like, what am I gonna do? Like, what am I gonna do in my life. Cause everybody drinks and I don't wanna be around that anymore.

>> Claire Gray: Yeah, there is that fear, isn't it? Like how's your life gonna change and how's your social group gonna change and are people still gonna be accepting of you? What role do you think mindset plays?

>> Speaker C: Well, I just said to you there, if you go to everyone say, I feel so much better since I stopped drinking. You know, if you wake up in the morning and say, oh fuck, I can't drink again tonight, or oh my God, yes, I didn't drink last night, I can do it again tonight. You know, it's kind of just, that's really simple m very simplistic way of thinking about it. But just those little shifts I always get my clients and I still do it to this day. I wish I'd checked my phone. I'll send you it.

I've done gratitude practise every day since I got sober

I've m like I'm six years, four months and something sober back. I've done my gratitude practise every day since I got sober. So I used to give gratitude in the very early days for all the things that I can do because I had stopped drinking. And occasionally I still pinch myself and be like, fucking hell, I'm recording a podcast today. This is exciting for me. Wouldn't be doing that if I was still drinking. So if we try, we always focus on the negatives. This is a bad thing. this person's going to think this, this person's going to think that. But actually if we can zoom out and look, we've got plenty to be grateful for now. I used to lie in my bed at night, in the morning at night or in the shower and say out loud, I'm a fucking useless person, I'm a terrible person. I used to think my family would be better off without me. And I have the most incredible, fantastic 20 year old daughter who I adore and have such fun with. And when I move that gratitude to oh my God, I've got a roof over my head, I've got my health. And it got bigger and bigger. I realised I was not just somebody with a problem with alcohol. That was a very small part of who I was. So that mindset shift from what's going well in my life, it actually allows us to take a break for thinking that we're the worst person ever. And I hear that all the time from people.

>> Claire Gray: So the self loathing and the beating yourself up after with a hangover in particular, do you mean that kind of thing?

>> Speaker C: Well, I drank every day, so I had A hangover every day. But, yeah, so that mindset shift, which is really hard in the beginning, but, you know, just be grateful for being awake that day and having the opportunity to have another day. And it can be as simple, as small as that. To the really big things. Like, you know, when I was walking along the Clyde, because I love Glasgow and I'll write about that tomorrow morning. I'm a prolific journaler. I'll be like, so grateful. It was a nice day so I could walk along. I just loved it, you know, so it's about that and changing your mind from. It's a lack or you're missing out on something. And it's actually, for the majority of people that speak to me, it's something they've wanted to do for a very long time. So. Wow. I'm getting the opportunity to take a break from the alcohol, to just start to heal myself and feel better.

>> Claire Gray: It's self care, isn't it? And that's what I've tried to promote it as to people, because I think if most of us are honest with ourselves, apart from you obviously, that most of us are dependent on alcohol in some way. Even if you're not drinking every day, even if we're only drinking once a week or whatever, but we. It's the association as well, isn't it? It's the association celebrating. Having an occasion. You celebrate. And what do you celebrate with alcohol? It's always involved and it's always. It's really hard to escape at times.

>> Speaker C: When, My daughter's called Sky. When sky was coming up for 18th birthday, I was acutely aware of everybody saying to her, oh, you barely got to the pub. And I thought, Christmas clearly been drinking before now, you know, And I thought, is that what the peak of becoming an adult is now? I'd have done that as well. But, you know, it's like, really, is that what we're. We're celebrating the fact that she can go and buy a drink? You know, I know the people that work with me, though it's not usually hard for them to stop in the beginning. Sometimes I have to really, like, air quote, hold their hands through the first few weeks. But most people are so desperate to stop. But it's that, thing you've just mentioned there. They're like, how will I celebrate? How will I socialise? How will I go out?

>> Claire Gray: Yeah, because you try and imagine every scenario.

>> Speaker C: Deaths, births and marriages. Fucking drink, drink, drink, drink, drink. Do you know what I mean? You know, there's only one thing sadder at a funeral than the dead person. It's the person that's drinking in the corner. Like, why are you drinking? They're dead. You know, Like, I've had that at funerals before, you know, you'll have to have a drink. In the early days. I did, yeah. It was really tricky.

So going back to, like, those first few weeks and few months where you had decided not drink

>> Claire Gray: So going back to, like, those first few weeks and few months where you had decided not to drink, what kind of things did you incorporate into your life? You talked about, like, gratitude. What other things did you. Daily habits did you have to keep yourself going?

>> Speaker C: It was back to basics for me. It was drinking water, it was having breakfast, it was patting myself on the back if I had three meals a day.

>> Claire Gray: Wow.

>> Speaker C: Sleep. I slept so much. I made my bedroom a sanctuary. My bedroom was just a dumping ground when I was drinking. I, made my home a very safe space. My home hadn't felt very safe before purely just because I was drunk in it all the time. and then slowly but surely, like exercise came in. Yeah. Eating really well. Keeping away from people like my self. Love at that time was staying away from people that I knew wouldn't understand my decision. I wasn't even explaining my decision to people.

>> Claire Gray: I didn't feel you had to justify.

>> Speaker C: Well, I just wasn't going out and so it was like, head down, you know. And, you know, I just kept thinking, I just need to get through today. It literally was one day at a time for me. I think about four, I can't remember. Maybe like between four and five months, I think. You know, I started to say to people, I have not had a drink. And people were totally like, shut the fuck off. And I was like, no, I've not touched it, like, because I was so sorry.

>> Claire Gray: It was fine. No, it's fine.

>> Speaker C: It was like such a, people.

>> Claire Gray: Like, such contrast to who you were then.

>> Speaker C: And I've got friends I'm still friendly with from when I, lived abroad when I was younger. And when I came back from abroad, I met friends in Edinburgh. And, I'm still really good friends with three of them. And anytime I do something like this, or I'm on the telly or I'm in the paper, one of them always messages me and says, I fucking can't believe this is what you're doing now. If you told me six years ago, because I was just a mad, mad riot, okay? And I thought it was funny, but now I'm like, wild, okay?

>> Claire Gray: So in terms of so day to day, you, you kind of almost like.

>> Claire Gray: Hibernated, like hid yourself away and just.

>> Claire Gray: Focused on you self love making your home a sanctuary. Little routines. Did you add different things into your day? Because I know for me I remember when I those five. So I used to drink wine probably most nights, certainly five out of seven nights I would drink. So for me the coming home from work things we're talking about, you know, celebrations and occasions, that's one thing to challenge. But for me it was that association with having a glass of wine at the end of the night was how I would relax. So I incorporated like self care treatment. Is that the kind of thing you did?

>> Speaker C: When I went back to work, I was really. That I'd have to change that habit cycle of coming in. You know, I would put the key in the door and I'd be thinking I'm having a wine.

>> Claire Gray: Yes.

>> Speaker C: So I'd come in. Some nights I'd get in the shower, I would paint my nails. I don't do more nails now, but I would paint my nails. Sometimes I would go out a walk. It was about doing something very different in that. And I never used to wash my face ever. Now I've got a proper skincare routine. So it was little things like that, you know, taking my makeup off, doing my skincare, like stupid little things for my stupid mental health. And that's not. No, it wasn't at all. And I felt so proud of myself for doing those little things. I very rarely came in the door and sat in the seat that I'd have drank my wine in. And I'll say that to my clients.

>> Claire Gray: Okay, that's interesting. So you made that switch because that chair you would associate with sitting, having a drink.

>> Speaker C: Yeah. And I would say that to my clients as well. I'm like if you're going to have a drink when the kids are in their bed or you're putting the kids in the bath, something has to change there because the well trodden path is that neural pathway is coming from work. Sit down, have a glass of wine. We can retrain ourselves to go this different way. So even like me now when I sit down and try not to look at my phone, you're like trying to do something different. That's not looking at my phone. It's disrupting that habit loop that we've got. and that's what you must have done with your self care.

>> Claire Gray: Yeah, it was just adding, see like doing obviously skincare is my thing, but it was just extending that facial. Doing a facial at night or some kind of spa Treatment but it was a foot massage, a hand massage, something other than picking up a glass of wine.

>> Speaker C: I got really into like I'm a spooky little bitch. I got into my tarot, my crystals. Yeah, I was kind of into that when I was younger but I got really into it when I stopped drinking. So I'd go to bed and I would journal and do you know my cards? And yeah, it just felt like a candle and it just felt like I was finally. I used to ask myself, how can I care for myself today? My drinking got worse when my mum died when I was 33. And my mum absolutely adored me. Like I was her, I was her child and I missed her dreadfully. And I, I used to think so how can I. When I was drinking I didn't think that. But when I stopped trickling that first year, I was asking myself, how can I care for myself today? And sometimes it was like having a super early night and other times it was seeing my best friend and getting a hug off her.

>> Claire Gray: Nice, nice. And sleep's so important.

>> Speaker C: It still is now.

>> Claire Gray: Like for me do you think, I mean I always think about the amount of sleep I must have lost through late nights and even like hangovers because you know you're not sleeping properly are ah you.

You say you stopped drinking after a year

The amount of time you waste and wasted days, wasted weekends.

>> Speaker C: Yeah, totally. when my clients tell me they're finally sleeping better I just think fuck if that's my biggest legacy is that people are getting a good night's sleep because it's so important, for all, for our health in a whole. I got my bed super early because I'm a really early riser unless I'm going out but I'll never drink again. I've got no want or there's no craving. There's not been for years.

>> Claire Gray: Is that right?

>> Speaker C: Yeah, 100%.

>> Claire Gray: So after how long did you stop craving it then? How long did it take?

>> Speaker C: I think I got to that year and I was like there's no fucking going back. Like this is just so good.

>> Claire Gray: You did a year, that was your milestone.

>> Speaker C: Yeah, it was head down to a year. But for my mental health now and for my well being and my care, a, non negotiable for me is a good night's sleep.

>> Claire Gray: Yeah, I'm the same. I was talking previous to this. We're talking to somebody about yoga and talking about sleep and just saying it just makes you a nicer person. When you have had seven to eight hours sleep a night every night rather than the few hours or you don't get the same quality of sleep, do you? I mean, I still. So I, Drinking. I still do drink, but I feel a bit more in control of it. However, I'm still very sober, curious. I'm still tempted with it and wondering at what point am I gonna do it? But if I do have a drink now, I massively notice a difference. I'll be awake at 2:30, 3 in the morning, and that's me. And then the rest, you know, you're just not sleeping properly. So the impact is massive. I think the next day. Huge. Yeah. And that's even not doing it as often, you know, not having a drink as often and doing all the other right things.

So what three reasons would you give to somebody considering giving up alcohol

So what three reasons would you give to somebody if they were thinking about somebody who was considering giving up alcohol, how would you promote it to them? Sleep. Would that be one of them?

>> Speaker C: Well, I would say to them, don't think about it being forever. I think that can be really scary. Like, forever is a really scary thing, isn't it?

>> Claire Gray: Yeah.

>> Speaker C: So I would say to, them, why don't you just have a break? And, like, what is a month or two out of this big, long life, hopefully, that we're all gonna have? I would promote it by saying, yes, sleep, definitely. Better relationships. Better conn. Better relationships, better connections.

>> Claire Gray: You've got to mention sober sex. Right. You know what?

>> Speaker C: People often worry about that. Sorry? People worry about the sober sex thing, right? Uh-huh.

>> Speaker C: Yeah. That wouldn't be my top three, though. I'm not gonna be like, you're gonna be better in bed. But it is better.

>> Claire Gray: Okay.

>> Speaker C: At least you're remembering it. You don't sleep with merry munters. That's what we always say. So I would say, like, better sleep, just mental health. How can I put a price on my mental health as somebody who wanted to die? And now all I want to do is live. And, live every day, most days.

>> Claire Gray: To the full, which is amazing. It's fantastic and it's so good to hear. And you can see yourself, you can see how enthusiastic you are about it.

>> Claire Gray: So what kind of support does soberbuzz.

>> Claire Gray: Scotland offer people if they're thinking about it?

>> Speaker C: Yeah. So, I have a private coaching practise, so I can support people one to one. I do group coaching, but, that's my private stuff. Sober Buzz itself. We have a lovely community that's growing. We do Sober Buzz yoga. I do free, group calls on our Facebook page. We've got a big Event in September, which I can't say too much about, but it's gonna be massive. Huge event happening. Then we've got beach yoga. We've got a meetup actually this Saturday, but this will probably be out after. Then we do monthly walk and talks, which are free, where people can come along for Sober and Sober. Okay, lovely. the last walk we were on, somebody came along because they wanted to support a friend who needed to stop drinking. it's just an opportunity. I started Sober Buzz because. And I didn't start Sober Buzz for it to be like, this has been an evolution. Of what? Of Sober Buzz. But I couldn't find any that was talking about how good it was. And no shade to AA or Alcoholics Anonymous. None at all. Because it works for some people. I don't want to be Anonymous. I want to say, this is fucking brilliant. Like, why are we. And I couldn't find any six years ago that was doing that. Lockdown changed Sober Buzz. I never planned on being a sobriety coach or a sobriety mentor at all.

>> Claire Gray: Okay, so it was lockdown that changed it for you?

>> Speaker C: Yeah. When I done my training, I've got a, diploma in transformational coaching. I continually say to people I'm doing nothing with my sobriety. And people would say, you have to. You're so passionate. I was like, nope, nope. Definitely do nothing with my sobriety. And then lockdown came and I'd done lots of online and, I realised how I was able to really allow people to transform their way, thinking about their drinking and also how they lived. So soberbuzz has been this. So we're now a community interest company. I've got three other women on my board.

>> Claire Gray: Okay.

>> Speaker C: We're all alcohol free for different reasons. and ultimately the big plan is that I get out there and reach the communities that can't afford to work with me and that can't. That don't even know we fucking exist.

>> Claire Gray: Right. Okay.

>> Speaker C: You know, there's still people out there that think, this must just be it for me.

>> Claire Gray: Wow.

>> Speaker C: And it doesn't have to be that way.

>> Claire Gray: No, no. It's sad, isn't it? but I kind of just say you're an amazing advert for it. You're sparkling, so there's no need for any fizz when you're here and in the room. it's so encouraging and I think it's great that you're spreading the words to let people know that they can have a fun, exciting life without alcohol. It's also worth mentioning. There's club nights and things now, isn't there?

Skin and Within is where Kirsty shares healthy wellness tips and advice

There's like Good Clean Fun.

>> Speaker C: Good Clean Fun's in Glasgow. Last night, my friend Nico had the first pop up. Alcohol free. Lovely Leith where I'm from. Nice People's Republic Elite. That's going to be once a month. we've actually sober Buzz have actually. We're going to, see Hot Chip in the Edinburgh Festival. So if people want to come along, if they want to come for a dance with us, we'll all be sober. yeah. There's so much more happening and there's loads of alcohol, free drinks. There's loads of opportunity to just do things a little bit differently. If you were allergic to dairy products, you wouldn't eat pizza every fucking night.

>> Claire Gray: That's very true. Very true. Ditch the cheese. Yes.

>> Claire Gray: Thank you so much.

>> Claire Gray: Thanks a lot, Kirsty.

>> Claire Gray: Thanks so much for joining us on Skin and Within, where I help you find your inner glow. Stay tuned for more conversations and wellness wisdom for a healthier, happier you.