Why so many women feel like they’re faking it (and what science says about it)
Have you ever caught yourself thinking, “I don’t belong here”, or “One day they’ll realise I’m not as capable as they think”?
That uneasy feeling that you’ve somehow lucked your way into your achievements has a name — imposter syndrome.
And you’re far from alone. Research shows that around 70% of people experience imposter feelings at some point in their lives. It’s particularly common among women, perfectionists and those who set high standards for themselves.
What imposter syndrome really is
Imposter syndrome isn’t a sign of weakness or incompetence. It’s the belief that your success is undeserved — that you’ve fooled others into thinking you’re more capable than you really are.
The term was first coined in 1978 by psychologists Dr Pauline Clance and Dr Suzanne Imes, who noticed that many high-achieving women attributed their success to luck, timing or effort, rather than ability.
In other words, the more capable and conscientious you are, the more likely you are to feel like a fraud.
Why it shows up in midlife
Many women find these feelings intensify in midlife — when careers evolve, children grow up, or new passions emerge. These are moments of transition, when we often step outside our comfort zone and into something unfamiliar.
Neuroscience tells us the brain is wired for safety, not success. When you take risks, try something new, or make yourself visible, your brain activates its threat response system (the amygdala). It interprets uncertainty as danger — and that inner voice of doubt is its way of trying to protect you.
But what it’s really doing is holding you back.
The psychology behind it
According to research, imposter feelings often arise in people who:
- Hold themselves to very high standards
- Find it hard to internalise success
- Tend to compare themselves to others
- Grew up in environments that rewarded achievement or perfection
Psychologists call this the imposter phenomenon — and it’s not a mental health disorder, but a pattern of thinking. The good news is that it can be changed.
How to overcome imposter feelings
1. Recognise the pattern
Awareness is the first step. Notice when you downplay your achievements or assume success was a fluke. That’s the imposter voice talking — not the truth.
2. Replace emotion with evidence
When that voice whispers, “Who do you think you are?”, answer it with facts. Write down your achievements, skills and experiences. Seeing the evidence in black and white helps retrain your brain to see the reality.
3. Take action — even when you doubt yourself
Research by psychologist Dr Albert Bandura on self-efficacy shows that confidence builds through doing. The more you act despite your doubts, the more your brain learns that you are capable. Confidence isn’t something you wait for — it’s something you build through action.
4. Talk about it
Imposter feelings thrive in silence. Sharing your experience — with friends, colleagues or a community — helps normalise it and reminds you you’re not alone.
You’re not an imposter — you’re evolving
Feeling like a fraud doesn’t mean you’ve failed. It means you’re growing. You’re stretching, learning and daring to do something new — and that’s exactly what evolution looks like.
So next time that inner critic pipes up, remember:
You’re not pretending.
You’re progressing.
And that’s something to be proud of.
References:
- Clance, P. R. & Imes, S. A. (1978). The Imposter Phenomenon in High Achieving Women. Psychotherapy: Theory, Research & Practice.
- Bravata, D. M. et al. (2020). Prevalence, Predictors, and Treatment of Impostor Syndrome: A Systematic Review.Journal of General Internal Medicine.
- Bandura, A. (1997). Self-Efficacy: The Exercise of Control. W.H. Freeman.